Thoughts - from Lindy

It doesn't seem like the time to finish this blog. But perhaps that's because I'm still holding my breath and waiting for Ben to come back? Maybe it is time to finish after all?
Chris and I talked about the possibility of going back to the end of June and writing about the beginning; that growing lump on Ben's leg. How unbelievable that a lump which at first looked innocent enough could be so aggressive a cancer. It's been a huge six months. Would it be interesting to go back to the start?

In six months Ben was catapulted through radiotherapy and chemotherapy, biopsies on just about everything, PET scans, CT scans, countless x-rays and ultrasounds not to mention blood tests in the hundreds and major surgery. The nurses in ICU said they had never known the Blood Bank to issue so many units of platelets in one hit to one patient. You name it and Ben had it administered or tested or taken. Finally, in the last 12 hours when intravenous drugs weren't touching his high temperatures, he was packed in ice.

Would Ben have changed anything? Maybe. Maybe not. He surely would have wanted to change things in his character that he didn't admire. Would he change his last six months if he had known his cancer was terminal? I don't know that he would. He made every effort to say goodbye. The weekend when he was well enough to come home from hospital and went to Pete's 21st was an amazing opportunity to connect for the last time with so many friends who have stood by him through it all. Despite the whole cancer thing being frighteningly confronting when it appears in a young fit person, not one of his friends walked away from him or the situation. Thanks guys!