Surreal…
Not “surreal but nice” like in Notting Hill, just surreal…
Words do not do it justice and emotions are hard to understand, if there are any at all.
Phrases like “it’s going to be ok” or “you will get through this” are said with good intentions but how can we expect to be able to just put something behind us that has taken 23 years to build, in a few days, weeks, months or even years? I don’t think it would be honouring Ben’s life if we just try to move into a new chapter straight away without writing a well thought out conclusion for this one.
The question is how to do that and how long will it take. There is no formula and it will be different for each individual.
I know for myself that how I’m feeling at the moment is only the tip of the iceberg. Even though I know I’m not dreaming, it still feels like Ben’s just going to be away for a while. But the thought of never seeing him again is one too hard to imagine.
Thanks for the support and prayers and for taking this tough journey with us.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
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9 comments:
at least you know you will see him again in Heaven and THAT is quite a thing to imagine! :)
Dear Chris & Lindy, Tim, Andy,Pete & Matt,
our prayers & thoughts go out to you at this time.
I didn't personally know Ben and can't possibly know what your going through at this moment. I have been following the blog from the start and have discovered Ben to be such a brave & beautiful person.
I pray that God will strengthen you and shower his love on you. You are a wonderful family, the world changed today.
love
Michael Dempsey
jesus wept and was deeply troubled in spirit when Lazarus died, even though he knew he would raise him from the dead that very day.
This is a sad, crap, surreal and unfair thing that has happened and it is right to grieve.
Tim you are so honest and real about the reality of it all - it is amazing and touching to hear from you and each family member as they write, albeit amidst the pain of losing a wonderful brother, son, grandson and friend. Our thoughts are with you all now and in the many days ahead. Blessings to you guys.
Tim, Andy, Pete and Matt, I also lost a brother way too early and I still miss him every day. Always will, I guess. But John still touches my life, and I feel that he looks over me, and takes care of me and my family.
Ben will do the same for you. From a glimpse in a crowd of a dark-haired young man who looks a bit like him , to reminders of him in special places and at different times in your lives, he will be there. Learning to live without him is hard, and it takes time and many, many tears, but you will all carry him in your hearts forever. I'm thinking of you all, dear ones.
Maz and I have been quietly supporting you all through this time. Our words aren't adequate, but you remain often in our prayers and thoughts. - Rob and Maz Day
Hi Tim, you probably don't know me;I am Steve Brown's Mum.I have prayed many many times for you all over the past weeks.
I read your words and remembered so vividly the days after losing my brother. He was 27 and I was 18.
At first it didn't seem right that the sun came up the next day ,and the day after that.
I would walk outside,but things didn't look real, the light seemed wrong.
I couldn't understand why people were getting on with their lives, smiling ,laughing,going to work.
How could someone be there one day and not the next?
You don't get over it and move on.
The loss of someone you knew so well stays with you, but you really don't want to forget.
But in time the way they passed fades, those painful memories are replaced gradually with the good times.
Life moves on though, and you will learn to live it to the full again.
The lord gave me the words "My grace is sufficeint for you. My strength is made perfect in your weakness."
He WILL help you through
Joy
amigo.. una vez mas, como pesa la distancia.. si mis comentarios son cortos es porque no se que, o como, decir, solo quisiera poder estar alli y darles un fuerte abrazo.. tambien tengo mis momentos en silencio de profunda reflexion.. asi que no puedo imaginarme lo que sera para todos ustedes.. en estos dias nacio una cancion, cuando pueda grabarla te la mandare.. un gran abrazo!
Hello Tim and all the others,
I know that words are cheap and sometimes you think hey , you just don't understand or get it. I know some of the pain you are going through. As you know I lost my Mum this year after 4 months of illness in hospital everyday.I sometimes even now think where is she and when is she coming back home.Well you know and I know, that she is already home and she i waiting for me. Ben's the same mate he's home and now waiting for you.He's having a great time. I know will heal in time but you will never forget. Sorry I wasn't there yesterday as I had another commitment, but if you would like to talk to someone else who kinda knows some of the hurt and pain you are going through then give me call sometime. I share your hurt and pain and I am crying here writing to you now. My Mum's favorite scripture was Kept By The Power Of God. And in times like this we all are. Thanks for being you.
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