Tim and Olivia’s wedding was a beautiful and significant occasion where although Ben was physically absent, he seemed to be with us.
Olivia knew Ben well and suggested to Tim that a tribute be made to him during their marriage ceremony. Tim delivered it something like this:
For those of you who don’t know, Ben was my older brother—20 months older than me. Ben got cancer and died quite suddenly in 2008.
With no offence to my groomsmen, Ben would have been my best man had he been alive today.
Ben was known for his taste in very good quality music so we thought the best way to include him in the service would be to choose one of his favourite songs to play during the signing of the registry.
It only took the first two notes of Savage Garden’s ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’ to sound and the church, full of hundreds who knew and loved Ben, laughed—with some tearfulness—almost as one.
We found ourselves wondering whether the playing of this song might not just do the trick and call him back from his ‘better party’, even if only momentarily.
We found ourselves wondering whether the playing of this song might not just do the trick and call him back from his ‘better party’, even if only momentarily.
1 comment:
Jill writes:
It seemed "madly" that Ben wasn't at the celebration of the year (T&O) but he was soooooooo there – the drumming and the music and ahhh Savage Garden.
I had a dream about Ben the other day – my recollection is the first vision was we were at Mulherin gathering at Doncaster and the feeling I got was that we were crowded around the doorway into the kitchen in the front hall – although the hallway was longer and people were lined up against the wall – it felt like one of those great young people's gatherings the Mulherins are so good at hosting… anyway Ben was there standing in the group in the middle – he was very there but not quite present – felt like he was a little out of place somehow although he was definitely physically all there… I said gidday and he smiled and said hi Jill… we then were in another room again a lot of people around – still a the same gathering – but Ben and I were not in amongst it… he was stretched out on a mattress (unmade) and I was perched sitting at the foot on the matress. I said how are things Ben "good" he said and suddenly I had a sense of urgency so when Ben asked me, how are things for you Jill? I replied very quickly - yes fine. "How is Heaven Ben – is it good?" I wanted the hear that he was ok …no answer because my alarm went off…
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