Random thoughts

It still amazes me to remember Ben's attitude to his life and to what
was happening to him and to what would very likely be the outcome for
him. Where did he get that inner strength from? I was reading Richard
Condie's sermon for the funeral the other day. At one point he says:

Right at the start of his illness, I asked Ben if he was angry with
God, that he should get this cancer. It seemed like an obvious
reaction to me, after all that's what I was thinking. Ben looked at me
as though I had asked a silly question, and said, "Why would I? – It's
none of my business."

Very occasionally (I wish it was more often) I get a sort of
connection moment with Ben and last night looking at the stars, I had
a sense of him as part of the unchanging rolling-on of eternity. I
"felt" that he was truly alive and truly well; free, happy way beyond
our understanding of that concept here.  And it reminded me of things
he had said before he died. Again from Richard's sermon in December
2008:

Just over a week ago now I was standing in the ICU next to Ben, and I
asked if he was afraid of dying. He thought for a bit and then clearly
said "No". Then he said, "I'll be fine – its just crap for everyone
else."

Indeed Ben. Indeed. CSB.

Lindy