Blogging Grief

Recently one of Ben and Tim's friends who studied science with
them at Melbourne Uni. sent us a copy of an essay she did on the
use and value of 'Social Network Sites' (SNS) for adolescents during
chronic illness or in different grief settings.

Ben's blog in the weeks leading up to December 8, 2008 and in these
twenty-two months since that awful date, has been significant for many
of us and so Kath's essay rang true.

Kath is particularly interested in the grief felt by the adolescent
peers and friends of a dying/deceased adolescent/young adult.  She
says that research shows that this important group of mourners are
largely overlooked. She goes on to say;

An important aspect of these SNSs in relation to grief that is often
overlooked is their ability to transcend time. Facebook pages and blogs become virtual tombstones, accessible to grieving adolescents at various stages of their bereavement process. This is particularly important for those adolescents who start out as what McNeil (1991) described as 'passive grievers', avoiding discussing their loss with others and internalising their grief. These networks allow adolescents who prefer passive coping to determine their level of involvement, providing them with the opportunity to 'lurk', visit online communities without participating in them, with the option of at some point taking part and becoming 'active grievers' (Buis, 2008; McNeil et al., 1991).

Kath goes on to talk about the importance of various health
professionals' roles in advising patients and their families and
friends about the possible therapeutic value of using SNS.  This
has certainly been true in our case too.

The subject of Ben's blog came up while I (Lindy) was at  "The Compassionate
Friends," a bereavement centre for parents and siblings. When
I showed them Ben's blog online, they were keen for Chris to do some
workshops about how to set up a blog spot as a memoir for a child who
has died.

We have also had various unknown people contact us during the last two
years in different states of pain who have been somewhat encouraged to
read about our journey.

Thanks Kath!