Ben's Got Cancer - one year old today

From Chris:
One year and 75,000 hits ago today we started this blog at Ben's request. If you don't remember how it got its name go back to the first blog. What a lot of water and tears have passed under the bridge in this last year.

From Lindy:
When people ask how we're doing I usually say not too bad. Sure! We're not too bad. We are finding ways to cope. My counselling course calls it "reconstructing meaning after loss." I have a collection of at least 50 Teddies which have taken over our bedroom and Chris has a growing collection of wine. Yep! We're doing fine if Teddys and wine are the measure. But they don't make up for Ben. [Chris says: stay tuned for a photo of all the bears I share a bedroom with.]

Black humour has also been our very welcome companion during Ben's illness and now in his absence. When we were talking with the boys about Ben's plaque in the cemetery, we talked about a different site which would have room for another set of ashes. Tim and Pete both said 'Pido Yo!' which means 'Me, Mine!'

The full monty

So to speak...

This blog has about 25 entries below. But if you want to see all the entries from the beginning, there is now an archive version of the blog located at csbkm.blogspot.com. The archive is limited to the English blog posts and may not be up to date, but it does start from the beginning and everything is on the one page. That means it will take longer to load particularly if you are not using broadband internet.

"If I get stuck you'll have to pull me out."

Update on this photo: we got the following email from friends in the US who recognised the location:

I tried to post a comment on your web page, but since I'm over 15 years old, I don't think I know how to do it!! Please post that we were just trying to teach our Aussie boys [that's Ben and Tim on their world trip] a bit about South Carolina history at Ft. Sumter, where the Civil War started... Boring!!

First time we've seen the photo... priceless!!  We always think of the dashing two and their stay in Charleston!

We thank God for sharing each of you with us.

Love To all,

Ginny y Harris

I hope the lads didn't offend the locals when they left the tour to load the cannon.

More on absence and presence

On the same theme as earlier thoughts about Ben's absence being present...

Martin Heidegger says (my paraphrase), "Our own past is not something which follows along after us, but something which already goes ahead of us."

Kids with cancer

As we walked into the supermarket this afternoon we put several coins in a ‘Kids with Cancer’ collection. Before Ben, I had almost got to the point of thinking, ‘Ah. Nah. Cancer isn’t that bad these days. They cure it mostly. It’s not a big deal. And surely they’ve got enough money!’

That was before June last year. Sigh. Cancer is still a big deal. Even when it has a good prognosis and is curable, it’s a long, tough road. It seems true to say that it is a life changing experience for everyone involved.

On Saturday last, a group of us including our family, drove to Warragul for the funeral of a 17 year old boy who had lived, laughed and finally died with a bone cancer he had during six years or so. We thought some people might be interested in his blog spot so here it is. Phil’s sister Kris has done his blogspot. Matt says we are ‘cancer companions’ and likes our instant bond with others who are suffering with cancer. ‘Acompañar’ is the word in Spanish. Something like ‘walk alongside’.

In his own words - Ben's MySpace page

I spent the first 8 years of my life in Mel-
bourne, then moved to Buenos Aires in early
'94 with my parents and three brothers. We
lived in B.A for 6 months, then moved to
San Miguel de Tucuman, where we lived un-
til early 2004, acquiring another family member.
               Moved back to Melbourne for a year,
then spent 2005 traveling Europe, North,
Central and South America with Tim, and
ended up living back in Tucuman. 2006 saw
me back in Melbourne, continuing study at
The University of Melbourne, doing a B.Sc
and a Diploma in International Studies...and
that's where I'm at now, in 3rd year of a 4
year course, not quite sure what I'll be do-
ing afterwards.
                   I go to St. Judes Carlton, I'm
a valet/concierge at a Melbourne city hotel,
do some casual interpreting (English/Span-
ish, Spanish/English) here and there, and...
wish I was somewhere else most of the
time, wherever I am or aren't...I'm the most
critical person I know, which can be good
and can be bad. I notice everything, and
have a thing for shoes-i can probably tell
you what shoes you had on last time i saw
you-test me-or don't, I might criticize you
for being 'pesado'. People are ok, so long
as they don't annoy me, which many do,
sorry...but there are a few that don't-there's
a chance.
                 I hate it when people cheapen
the meaning of words by over-using them
or using them when not appropriate; then
when they are meant, the original meaning
is no longer there. "Love you", "beautiful",
"darling", "gorgeous" are a few examples-
don't kill them!