A Memory of Ben from Gumpa

Whilst memories of Ben remain very much part of our daily lives, (Wilga and I offer a little prayer each morning and night), last week a special time with him came flooding back.

The occasion was Easter Monday, Wilga and I joined some members of the Mulherin and Briggs families on Colin and Jill’s farm at Rutherglen. We had gathered to help with cutting firewood for Brigg’s winter fires and a bbq to follow. Matt was practicing his driving skills in Colin’s ute, which was moved as the need arose, to be close to the chain-sawing action. For me the face in the vehicle was Ben’s, as clear as if it was yesterday.

Matt in the ute took me back to many years ago. We were on our farm at Gundowring. Gumpa, and the grandsons had driven out into the paddocks to dig out Patterson Curse plants. As we worked we had moved quite a distance from the “tuk”—Ben’s first efforts at pronunciation of truck. The old Landcruiser got “tuk”, and I got “Gumpa”. I asked Ben, perhaps aged 12, if he thought that he could bring the vehicle to where we were.

The eyes lit up and in a quiet, but very proud voice announced to the brothers, “Gumpa wants me to drive the truck”. In response to his “yes”, my question was, “what is the first thing you need to know?” My answer to his blank expression was, “know how to stop it, before you start it”. Ben loved a challenge, the bigger the better. Here was a challenge, not only of driving a motor vehicle for the first time; it was to happen in front of those younger brothers.

Managing a heavy old ute, manual gear box, no power steering and a clutch that had “issues”, provided a test of skill for experienced drivers, daunting for a first-timer. Ben was not going to let that get in the way of this opportunity, so off he went. To sounds of a roaring motor, and some grating of gears, the occasional stall, Ben and the truck “hopped” their way over the paddock to us. To say that, it was a very proud Ben who got out of the vehicle, would be the understatement of all time.

Ben was the first to give that old Toyota a workout and over the years Tim, Andy and Pete all spent hours learning some basics of managing the tuk. Yesterday when I was looking into Colin’s ute, Matt was driving but my mind, was dwelling on a precious “grandfather” moment many years ago. Just one of many treasured experiences with a much loved grandson—memories that are becoming ever more precious as years tick by.

Gumpa

Passing this way but once

A year or so ago, I spent a day with a woman, who I will call Sue, whose daughter had recently died from a brain tumour.

Yesterday, in the mail, I received a copy of a beautiful book from Sue. It is a one year devotional; a bound, illustrated coffee-table size book which also includes a CD of inspirational songs.

Sue wrote and produced this book, in remembrance of her 15 year old daughter. She also oversees a Christian charity, inspired by, and named after, her daughter. It continues to raise thousands of dollars for a worthy cause.

And I think with sadness that no book has been written about Ben, to inspire people’s faith, and no excellent charity has his name blazoned on it.

And like I have so often, I think about him being forgotten and how to appropriately continue honouring and remembering him.

And again, like I have so often, I get to hoping and praying that the impact of his life and the way he died, will be remembered in and through the way we continue to live our lives without him.

‘I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.’ Etienne de Grellet (1773-1855) Quaker Missionary.

Lindy