Tucumán memories

For those who are happy not to move on too far or too fast where Ben’s concerned I thought I would translate some of the memories written on the ‘I remember’ part of the blog. These ones are written in Spanish and refer to Ben’s time in Argentina where he lived for 12 years from age 9.

When I read through the memories they are often about Ben’s liveliness and infectious enthusiasm—a kind of ‘can do’ attitude to everything which generated energy and fun seemingly wherever he went.

  

Julieta says:

I remember Ben, recently arrived in Tucumán [1994] and new at our school. He sat next to me on his first day—that was fourth grade. We had to write a story and his main character was a cat. Yes, he really liked cats and I remember he also liked maths. I remember his smile and that he was smart and happy and friendly to everyone.  

Silvina says:

When I try to remember stories I remember so many of Ben—being at camps together and swimming; he was a good swimmer. I remember once a group of us went to a Christmas concert and there was a storm; it was pouring and it was still raining at the end of the concert. We had to walk to the centre of Tucumán and so all of us were trying to keep ourselves dry with towels and things. Ben was funny and didn’t try and keep dry but just walked along getting soaking wet. Every so often he had to stop walking to wring out his shirt he was so wet. It was very funny and we all laughed a lot. There was always fun when Ben was around.  

Marc says:

I remember I visited the Mulherins in Tucuman with a friend in 2002. Upon our departure and when in the bus, a group of Mulherins and uni students we had become friends with came to wave good bye to us. We waved back.  But then Ben and Tim decided to enthusiastically wave with the "Mulherin middle". Nobody else saw what they were doing. Unfortunately for us, we could not reciprocate as the others in the group might have become offended or confused.

As I think about these memories I remember Ben’s enthusiasm and ‘can do’ as I attempted to learn to ride a bike in the backyard of Tucumán at the age of 36. Ben often sauntered out while I was teetering and tottering around keeping on at me not to give up. Later when I could ride well enough to venture out of the confines of the backyard, various times he would coach me up the steepest of hills, riding his bike slowly and patiently next to mine and not letting me stop repeating ‘you can do it…don’t give up…nearly there’ until finally I did reach the top of various hills which I had regarded as impossible.  

As Chris and I are want to say, ‘Ahhhh Ben.’

Tubes, nurses and broken hearts

I was wandering through old blog entries and found myself chuckling away at this:

In the meantime Ben is trying to inflict grievous bodily harm on his carers. His night nurse is sure he has a hand injury from Ben crushing his hand in one slightly more wakeful episode, It included pushing and shoving while he was quite confused and trying to escape from his bed with his startling number of tubes, a couple of nurses and his father trailing behind him. 

I think it was the irony of the memory that makes me chuckle. Here was
Ben, only days away from leaving this mortal body behind as it had
given up on him and yet he could still command it enough to cause
comments about his surprising strength.

It reminds me of a childhood memory that was also included in a prior
blog entry:

When Ben and Tim were four and two respectively we were invited to
have lunch with a couple who were business associates of Chris's. We
had a vigorous and noisy lunch time as we tried to encourage both boys
to display table manners suited for the fragile tolerance level of a
young childless couple. As soon as Ben had finished eating he was up
and away from the table, charging all over the house. The husband said
to me as he watched our little human cannonball "Ben will break
arms…but that one, Tim, he will break hearts." 

Looking back now I can say that Ben didn't break anyone's arm as far as I know in all the high energy living he crammed into his short 23 years. But he sure ended up breaking many hearts.